Archive for parenting

public play area gripe

Posted in Life in general with tags , , , , on Tuesday 24 February 2009 by amanda

kieran and i were at the mall play area the other day (where food and drink are prohibited), and a kid around 3 or 4 years old was running around with gummy snacks.  i was REALLY pissed, because Kieran started following this kid around because he wanted his snacks, and started to cry when he couldn’t have any.  I really wanted to yell at the parents of the kid, but surprise surprise, they were nowhere to be found…so that’s my gripe today.  Am I out of line for being upset that parents would let their kids run around a public play area with a snack where there aren’t supposed to be snacks, and then my kid cries because (1) i won’t let him have those snacks, and (2) the other kid wouldn’t share anyway (he ran away).


ultrasound pics of da baby!

Posted in Life in general with tags , , , , on Saturday 20 December 2008 by amanda

Baby #2’s ultrasound pictures are below 🙂  This made it so much more real!  Ola and I can’t help but scrutinize how he looks different and the same as Kieran did.  Now that we have a before and after example from our genes, we have all kinds of guesses as to what this guy is actually going to look like in real life.  Hurrah for babies 🙂

homebirth v. hospital birth

Posted in Life in general with tags , , on Sunday 16 November 2008 by amanda

the NYT recently had a big article on homebirth versus hospital birthing, and reading the comments after has been fascinating for me.  It’s actually been amazing, since I’ve become a mom, how much parenting is like a religion for many people.  Everybody seems to decide that what they have decided to do is the right way, and other ways are either too hippyish, too mainstream, too uncaring, too at the whim of the child, too corporate, too involved, not enough involved, too much money spent, not enough spent.

good god.  does everything have to be totally right one way and absolutely wrong the other with parenting?  in light of that…

so i thought i would put my two cents in about hospital birthing, because i personally go to the hospital, but the idea of a home birth intrigues me.  after Kieran, I couldn’t do it at home though – I know personally that I want/need that epidural option.  every experience is different, and i do have to say that i favor a hospital birth because if something goes horribly wrong (as it nearly did with Kieran) then there are facilities and people that can do something RIGHT NOW.  i don’t know whether the death rate is higher or lower in home birthing.  i do know that home births are very common in europe, and they still have low death rates.  

interestingly, i have noticed that a huge number of women that choose to homebirth do so because they had a horrific hospital experience the first time around.  i would like to ask who the hell their docs/midwives/nurses are and WHAT facility were they in?  why, if you had any choice at all, would you stay with a doctor who did not understand and respect your wishes?  why would you go to a hospital you were not comfortable with?  why in the name of heaven would you not check out the facilities and find out their philosphy if you were at all able to? here i am addressing the privileged women who had the time money and other resources to do a home birth later. 

those points made, those very points emphasize that hospitals need a lot of work in the birthing department.  women who don’t have the option to shop around or do a home birth have just as much right to have their voices heard and their wishes followed.  

i gave birth in a hospital with an OB that I trusted TOTALLY, with great nurses and wonderful staff.  stating again…i’m not against homebirthing, but is there a way that hospitals can make women feel more in control and comfortable in a hospital setting?  birthing centers in hospitals are a good start…

i think the bottom line question that i have for women who want to home birth is whether it’s based on having a midwife and doula that you trust, a backup plan, and reasonable expectations of what birth entails, or is it based on a romantic notion of cuddling with your newborn in your bed with your partner looking on adoringly?  if it’s the first, kudos and all my best to you and your child.  if it’s the second, re-think.  it’s all about making an informed decision, no matter which way you go.  and if you’re going with a hospital, for goodness sake, make sure you know what you will and won’t consent to, make sure you trust your OB/midwife TOTALLY, and make sure you have an advocate with you in the birthing room who knows your wishes and will stand up for you.